Category Archives: humor

A Slice

Do you have pecan? Do you have lemon? Do you have raisin?
The requests never faltered despite all the delicious pies in front of him my pie customer kept asking for a type of pie that we had run out of at the church barbeque. Picture a beautiful old park in a rural village with towering pine trees, beautifully maintained heritage grounds and a large covered pavilion for outdoor picnic events and you have captured the charming setting of our chicken barbeque. Several hundred tickets are sold in advance and the community shows up in wonderful support of our fundraising dinner. A great deal of homemade pie is required.
When I arrived to take my shift as pie lady everything was neat and tidy, well organized for the onslaught of impending customers. All kinds of pies were precut, plated and well shelved in covered protection from the elements and hornets attracted to the sweet delights. A long counter of ready to take pies were covered with plastic sheeting to repel the few raindrops that dropped from the darkening skies. fortunately, the storm blew over to the west. The plastic was not clear but rather white, slightly transparent stuff. You could see the pies and reasonably guess what kind they were but they were slightly obscured by the plastic.
It was interesting to watch people scan the length of the counter searching for their favourite, best looking slice. Everyone was good humoured and understanding of the need to keep the food covered and after a few moments of choosing and pleasant chat they accepted their pie and went off to enjoy it. All except this one man who I mentioned earlier. He asked about almost every slice available and had me running off to check the pies in waiting on the indoor shelving to seek after his favourite kind of pie. At first I thought it was rather amusing but due to my healing foot issues the comedy of it all wore thin in a few minutes. I don’t even remember what kind of pie he finally settled on as we were so busy with the backlog of other pie customers I had to let him suffer and go on with helping others. Whatever piece he finally got I hope it didn’t come with an attached hornet hidden in the filling. Honestly, I hope it didn’t.


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Skill Lit Supper

Ground beef, onions, veggies etc , that kind of thing… is the extent of my nothing fancy cooking for one tonight as I’m rather homebound for a few days while my foot heals up from an allergic reaction of some sort. I am content to just use what I have on hand without hobbling out to the store for more elaborate ingredients. At the last moment after adding a few sorry looking extra veggies from the crisper, some spice and stock my meal was a simmering treat. Just for good measure I dropped in some very cheezy stuff and let it simmer. Tasting it, it’s not all that bad. Rather homespun, comfortable and a predictable taste. Overdoing it as usual, there’s even leftovers to share.
Somehow, my writing style came to mind.

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Unique Stay Awhile Style

First time inside the door today and I was gently overwhelmed by the adorable vintage feel of the small place but within seconds I was ready to order a nice lunch at The Bag Lady Variety. Located  at Pall St. (at Maitland), in London Ontario, Canada it is the sweetest little retreat , somewhat off the beaten track of regular coffee shops and diners. I honestly felt like I had been dropped into another time period. The feel of the place is very relaxed and I noticed several people writing in journals, reading and get this.. interacting with other friendly customers! Two large store front windows open up the view to an established leafy neighbourhood while the decor inside is retro comfy. Seriously, when I came home I got all of my crocheted throws out of the blanket box and draped them around just to mimic the mood of the place.

The yummy food is prepared in a tiny open kitchen which is fascinating to peek through at while watching three of four people maneuver very carefully around each other as they work behind the counter.  Lots of takeout orders were rustled up while I was there blissfully relaxing at one of the old-fashioned kitchen table sets. I think the local professional crowd of workers are loving the convenience of takeout lunches but the laid back, sit and daydream types like myself  delight in the atmosphere as much as the food. My lunch was homemade tasty and the coffee was good and hot. Oh, and they get points for having the right kind of soft folksy music playing too.

I know I’ll be going back when I’m in town doing my daytime artsy theatre/writing adventures Monday through Friday 7:30 am-4:00pm (as if I’d ever be up at 7:30 am nowadays..ha!), or on Saturday and Sunday 9:00 am-2:00pm. I purchased a gift certificate for a lucky friend and a really good brownie for the road. You can’t have too much of a good thing!

It was a rather special experience today as it felt like I was among friends…including the charming staff and the patrons.


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Getting Something Accomplished

Distractions have interfered with my writing only because I’ve looked for excuses to let them do so. I’ve had some different things to attend to but that was not the real reason for not stockpiling my writing over the summer. It must have been just a break that I needed for some creative purpose and now I feel compelled to start it all up again. I even bought new pens today.

My sister tells me I should write children’s stories and I will. My son tells me to write about the theatre experiences I enjoy so I will do that too. My good friends keep me stocked up with journals so that I will write about what I read or plant in the garden (that’s why I need lots of pens). I also handwrite a stream of consciousness journal that is just a flow of stuff I should be doing or what I’m thinking about doing (i go through pens like crazy!). That journal is amazing as it works in that it usually gets me off my procrastination sidelines and somehow motivates me to do some errands, repairs and duties. It is like being mothered again after losing my wonderfully feisty but very elderly mom. It is my push to get moving and get stuff done.

I need to write again and get something accomplished. Maybe this time, while I’m stockpiling the stories, reports, poems and observations I’ll find whatever it is that I need to say.

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Overdoing It As Usual

Touching base with my son off and on this week I’ve kept up with how he is continuing to adjust to single parenting a bulldog puppy. My son is exhausted with a dose of cold and flu and recovering by resting, taking his vitamins and drinking lots of fluids. Of course, he also has his powerhouse puppy to contend with and he must walk her, clean up after her, feed and care for her as he balances work and getting over the flu.

Now doesn’t that sound familiar? It is a big job being a pet parent and when you aren’t feeling well you have to just suck it up and carry on. So, upon hearing that my only child (my very adult son) was feeling crummy I drove into town and got him some chicken soup, ginger ale, groceries, flu and cold meds etc. so that he could cope a little better.

You see, I’m a very caring mother and generally over do things like this whenever I feel it is necessary. As far as the puppy is concerned, she is doing fine after her eye surgery last week and has adapted to my son’s  temporary flu . Mostly, the two of them cuddle on the couch and watch the Olympics together when he is home from work and doesn’t have too much zip left in him .

By Friday night, my son was miraculously well enough to go out with his buddies to a summer event in town but had to also squeeze in some extended training time for Penny at her puppy kindergarten class. She had missed a class the previous week due to her surgery. I decided to show up to make sure all was going as planned .

There I was, like the dreaded helicopter mom, hovering as close as possible. It was fun to see Penny master all her basic skills and enjoying herself in the process.It was also good to just hang out with my very adult son who  doesn’t seem to mind that I sometimes tag along…but I also know when to back off. Hey, it works for me.

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Packed off Penny!

After two weeks of high-stepping over wet and sometimes gooey newspapers, I’ve packed up the pooch and sent her back to her city home. She was reluctant to get back into my son’s car because I think she thought she was going to the vet again…or maybe she was wanting to stay with her Nana. It’s great. I imagine I will spend some time cleaning up tonight and enjoy keeping my purse on the floor again, along with my shoes or whatever. Penny was into everything such as plants, books, pillows, shoes and annoying my old cat despite having a nice little assortment of chew and toss toys.

At least I won’t be spending all of our waking hours walking her around the garden and sitting outside with her in the backyard. My neighbours have never seen so much of me. With the help of my sister-in-law next door Penny got her eye drops right on schedule three times a day. This routine along with her feeding and exercise needs kept me very tied down.  But it has been rather nice too. I have savoured the peace of our country village, watched the leaves blow overhead, counted all the different shades of green all around me in the forms of trees , flowers, shrubs and grasses. I’ve read some recipe books and drank coffee out of my old battered school teacher thermos. Penny and I both learned to kick back a little and just watch the quiet corner of our world go by.

In the evenings , after a raucous play period that I’ve termed “the witching hour” I would scoop her tubby body up and plunk her down on an old down pillow and give her little back rubs .Immediately soothed she would collapse into a snuffy, cuddle pup and we would spend an hour or so just snoozing together on the recliner. Once she was in her crate for the night I would go out into the wet night to try to find the poor cat lurking in the neighbour’s shrubs and try to lure her into the house for her meal and a dry place to sleep.

Penny’s eye seems to be getting better and that was the whole point of her extended visit. Now I will have to think of another excuse to have her here on a short term basis. Maybe I should focus on patching things up with my poor cat first. She thinks I’m crazy.

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Puppy Love

Today is my day off and it really felt like it for a change. Whew….I went out to the farmer’s market, greenhouse. did laundry, had a nap, worked in the garden and had another nap. Since retiring I’ve thoroughly adapted (like a big time slacker and I deserve it) to the laid back routine of extra sleep, reading, theatre,writing, puttering, little drives to fun spaces, some gardening, some short walks, cooking a  super healthy and gourmet farmstyle cusine, cleaning once in a while and visiting with friends and family. However, the puppy on loan has changed things significantly. Last week I ate cold meatloaf and pickles over the kitchen sink so she wouldn’t see me eat anything.

I offered to keep her last week to bond with Miss Moneypenny as she will be staying with me next week anyway to recover from some eye surgery to correct something called cherry eye, a common problem for little bullies.

Getting up to walk and feed her early has reminded me of my working days, but at least now after checking to make sure I’m dressed completely (long story) to walk around the quiet neighbourhood I don’t have to  shower and do my hair or makeup (for days if I don’t want to), but instead crawl back into bed for another snooze before really getting up for the day. The puppy maintenance schedule is bathroom walk, feedings, more bathroom walks, cleaning up wet newspaper safety targets, floor washing, more feeding, more walking, some training for puppy kindergarten, more or the aforementioned, over and over….playing, hugging, cuddling….writing several email updates to my son working in a beautiful theatre about his puppy child….and so…when she went home yesterday for the weekend…..I missed her.

No worries though, by evening tomorrow she’ll be back and into everything, upsetting the retired apple cart big time. Surgery on her eye is on Monday morning and both my son and I will be worried, concerned and relieved when it is safely over. Just think, next week, I’ll be doing the puppy lifestyle all over again but this time she’ll be upset about wearing a cone protector around her bulky little neck, she will be wild as a bronco as she won’t likely have her quiet time routine in her crate due to wearing the cone….thank goodness we bonded this past week. I’ll let you know…….( in case you haven’t seen her picture yet, (gush from Nana)….see my blog post Precious Penny.)


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Penny’s Progress

I bet you are just waiting with breathless excitement for the next Penny post (see Penny’s picture on Precious Penny post). She is getting bigger, sassier and has a pronounced pout when she hears “no” , “don’t chew Grandma’s jewelled sandals”! During the past week she has started puppy education class and ranks right in the middle . Marvellous Monty (another bulldog pup) is the smartest at this point, next comes Penny and at the bottom of the class is Rangy Riley. Monty has had the advantage of a longer, stable homelife than Penny. He is a beautiful little guy and impressed the trainer with his manners but even Monty has his faults apparently. He is a porch peeing dog. Riley on the other hand, looks as cute as can be, like a typical Benji type dog but is a notorious ankle biter. Penny is just learning to settle in so we give her a break for the time being. She is a food focused dog so likes her twenty-minute training homework each day and is earning numnums for sit, stay and high fives. So cute, those high fives!

My son’s vacation has turned into a young parent experience with five o’clock am wakeup yelps, outdoor walks, feeding times, medication times( to clear up some tummy trouble), wet newspaper cleanups, more outdoor walks, monitoring adjustment to crate times (hopefully she is calm in her crate when returns to work next week), buying supplies and feed and washing his floors to keep ahead of the pungent puppy smells. Some vacation, eh?

We are going on a day trip to see a friend perform in a play at The Shaw Festival, Niagara on The Lake, and have lined up my neighbours to puppy sit. Penny will be in good, kind training hands while we are away. No doubt, my son will go through separation anxiety while we are gone for the day. He will probably buy a souvenir chew toy or  British design collar for Penny as if she even cares for it or not. All Penny cares for are her numnums. I expect she will be at the top of her class on Friday or at least tieing for first place with Monty. Riley, bless him…we just hope for the best.



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Penny For My Thoughts ( I will continue to do this….send me your Penny references!)

Firstly, I refer you all to the photo on my last blog post”Precious Penny”. OK, then. A Precious Penny update is in order. In the last few days, Penny and her single parent, my son have crashed at my place for their “holidays”. You would not believe how sweet she is and how smart considering she is so young and has been through four different homes. Counting holidays at my place would make five adjustments for such a baby. Within a very short time she has learned to sit, come when called and pee fifty percent of the time on the newspapers.

I have the laundry on right now washing out all the floor mats I own as apparently they closely resemble newspapers. Next, I’ll run a load of bed linens as my son had her snuggling with him. Tomorrow I wash floors very carefully as I suspect several quick cleanups were made behind my back. Penny preferred to poop in my pantry area (it’s quiet there, you know) so that will be where I will start the sanitation blitz.

Other than that, we’re good. Just a few coffee soaked novels on the coffee table when she jumped up to smell the coffee. The cat has given notice but perhaps she will return from the neighbour’s yard when she realizes the dog has gone home. Several flowering shrubs have been chewed but with a little care should recover. A wicker magazine basket has a new rustic look since it’s handle has been destroyed. Cash outlay for crate, bedding, dishes, halter, leash, name tag, vet care, licence, food, toys is adding up fast.

But, she looks at you with hazel green eyes and snuffles so sweetly. She is laid back for a puppy and assumes a yoga-like pose like a wise old soul with one leg behind her back and one leg in front while leaning back on her haunches watching our every move. So I guess that explains why I drove thirty minutes into town to see her tonight after she left my place just this afternoon. I just wanted to check on her, and she’s fine, thank you.

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Precious Penny

For the sake of my senior challenge with technology, while my son is here to assist with downloading her photo, I wish to introduce a little addition to my writer’s world in the form of my grandog, Miss Moneypenny, a four month old Victorian Bulldog. She is a complete surprise to me as my son has recently adopted her. They will not be living here but will visit regularly. She is lovely in a unique way and a gorgeous baby. I anticipate a great deal of inspired material in the future. (We are wiping up wet poop behind my desk chair as I post.) Watch for future installments on Penny.


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